Marriage Is a Covenant, Not Just a Commitment
Marriage is a covenant, not just a commitment but in a time where the divorce rate is just as prominent amongst Christians as it is with non-Christians we must define the importance of keeping our vow to God first and then each other.
For the month of February, V1 church started a relationship series titled “What Men & Women Really Want.” Pastor Julie Signorelli kicked off the series by explaining the difference between a commitment and a marriage covenant.
If we start at the beginning, in Genesis 2:18 -25 we learn of the inception of men and women. God made humanity. He gave Adam a female help mate, made from his rib, as no other creation was suitable to walk alongside him.
While honoring women and their equality, V1 church believes in strong male headship. Pastor Julie addressed the congregation from that vantage point while also pointing out that abuse and addiction in relationships are complicated and need to be handled according to what's best for those specific situations.
Conflict & Covenant in Marriage
As we see in Genesis 2:24, God addresses conflict in marriage before conflict even begins. He advised the man to LEAVE his parents and cleave to his wife. Some marriages struggle because they do not adhere to this advice.
The Signorelli’s have been married for almost 20 years and Julie recalled 12 of those years being filled with conflict. She admitted they lived through a long season of “drama, infidelity, and poverty.” Still, the V1 Church founder declared “Marriage is good!” That declaration does not mean marriage is easy, there will be conflict but when you are in a covenant marriage, God will lead you to work it out for good.
Although many people reduce marriage to “just a piece of paper” it is much more than that. Holy matrimony is a covenant instituted by God. Dating and living together is simply a commitment but marriage is a covenant. The covenant of marriage is under attack. Why is it that when a couple is engaging in premarital sex and then gets married, immediately their sex life comes under attack? It is because the enemy hates covenant.
A covenant is a lease or deed situation. It is an agreement and a statement that says I’m not leaving, no matter what. Commitment is the opposite, it says you can leave at any time.
God’s Instructions for Married Couples
Submission tends to get a bad rap however it is instrumental in a healthy marriage. In Ephesians 5:31–33 the instruction is for husbands and wives to submit to one another. He then specifically tells wives to “submit to your OWN husband.” That means do not submit to anyone else's husband before your own. Not to your pastor, or father, or relative, but instead to your own husband. The Apostle Paul says God is instructing wives to submit in everything to their husbands. He then goes on to instruct the husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
The two become one flesh. “If you hate your wife, you hate yourself,” Pastor Julie pointed out.
Jesus won't ask us to do anything He is not willing to do and He loved the church so much that He gave His life for the church.
God is asking husbands to love, and wives to respect. We should not want the last word, or to keep a scorecard, we should want to apologize. Wanting toxicity, however, can be more compelling to the flesh because we want to control and manipulate others.
Pastor Julie joked: “Girl you don't want love, you want to win, you want revenge!” She urged believers to go through the internal process to get rid of sinful selfish desires. Sanctification is a lifelong process and both men and women need to ask God to redeem the sinful things in our lives that are trying or will try and take root in their marriage. You must give it all to Jesus!
What Should We Desire in Marriage?
Pastor Julie shared several points from the scripture in Ephesians 5:22–33 about the things people in covenant should desire to do in marriage. She noted that women only have one area of focus while men are honored with several areas to hone in on.
Women: We should desire to be submissive.
“I learned that when I'm loved it is easy to be submissive,” the minister shared.
Submission brings blessings because obedience to God has power. When women submit, men feel respected.
Men - There are 8 points in scripture that Pastor Julie instructed men to desire:
Men should love their wives. In fact, scripture says men have to love their wives
Give up things for her or at least be willing to give it all up
Give up your life for her
Sanctify your bride and wash her in the word
Love your wife as your own body. Men are good with taking care of themselves in the gym or barber, they are instructed to love their wives with intentionality as they care for themselves.
Leave your family, meaning your loyalty to your other family and cleave to your wife first. “You can not care more about what your parents say more than your wife,” Pastor Julie said.
Again the Apostle Paul reiterates that a man give up their whole life for your wife
Lastly, make all these sacrifices with no glory for yourself but give all the glory to God as Jesus always did.
Someone in the marriage has to be the redeemer of the relationship. Living the aforementioned steps is obedience to God. “Obedience is a force that unifies in marriage,” Pastor Julie concluded.
About the Author
Jeannie Ortega Law is a chart-topping singer, evangelist, media personality and author from New York City. She can be reached on social media: @JeannieOrtega or emailed at Info@JeannieO.com
At V1 Church we believe in teaching Bible-based relationship principles so that you can your family can be strengthened. Connect with us using one of the links below – we’d love to see you and help you walk through the process of reconciliation.