How To Get Free From Offense
Achieving an unoffendable heart will only come by understanding the root causes of an offense. So many people today are in bondage to offense because they can not differentiate between perceived offenses and real offenses. Emotional maturity and freedom from offense will come from a relationship with God and the practical application of biblical principles.
Unchecked offenses can be very dangerous and lead to negative behaviors that hinder spiritual growth. What is an offense? When someone does or says something that hurts or upsets another person. It is a perceived injustice. However, not everything that we perceive is what it is. We can be hurt by something that isn't hurtful. Someone can do something to us that is not meant offensively at all but we become offended because of underlying trauma.
Emotional Immaturity = Easy Offense
In a sermon titled “Freedom from Offense,” Apostle Mike Signorelli teaches his congregation that a key reason for emotional immaturity and proneness to offense is the absence of intentional emotional development by fathers in childhood. He suggests that children should have been guided by their fathers at a "table" to process life's circumstances emotionally.
In civilization today, the societal focus has been on physical needs over emotional development, leading to an imbalance where intellectual growth surpasses emotional maturity. An emphasis on growing intellectually is held to a higher degree than emotional growth. But as we see in Western society, specifically in America people are constantly fighting because they do not know how to emotionally handle others.
Offense is Internal, Not External
“Offense isn't something around you, it’s something inside of you,” the V1 Church leader declared.
Offense is unavoidable as Jesus said in Luke 17:1. When offended believers must ask themselves, “Why did that bother me so badly?” Offense originates within a person, not solely from external triggers. There are typically two types of unhealthy responses when someone is offended they either shrink back or become defensive and go into Attack Mode.
Shrinking back and minimizing an offense is just as bad as reacting aggressively. The desired response when hurt by someone is to redeem the situation. To do so, there needs to be emotional wisdom to discern which attribute of Christ (Lion or Lamb) to demonstrate in different situations.
When upset about something it is instinctive to pick apart the one who brought forth the offense, but Pastor Mike suggested examining oneself, not just others. Citing Proverbs 18:17 ("The one who states his case first seems right until the other comes and examines him." While a feeling of offense may be valid, we must not immediately believe one's own offended perspective. Self-reflection and questioning one's own thoughts and feelings is emotional maturity.
Forgiveness
Matthew 6:14–15 makes once forgiveness conditional if they are able to forgive an offense first. "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you...your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others of their sins your Father will not”. The word "if" suggests that conditional aspect.
In the aforementioned passage of scripture, Jesus emphasizes that hurt is inevitable saying "When they sin against you” which means it's going to happen. Therefore because offense will happen, we must all be prepared to readily forgive.
Instead of seeking a new revelation or a new degree in seminary, we should aim to live by basic biblical principles, particularly regarding offense. The Greek word for offense is "Scandalon" which means “a trap, a snare.” Jesus said woe to those to whom offenses come. Offenses will come so what he was saying is that there will be bait and the bait, if you take it will lead you to being trapped. We must avoid taking the bait. You can forgive and still have boundaries with those who have hurt you.
Practical Steps Towards Freedom from Offense
Apostle Mike provides some practical things Christians can do to be free from offense. He listed memorizing and confessing scripture as the first step one can take. He encouraged the congregation to memorize and confess Psalm 139:23–24 :"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.".
That verse leads to the next step which is self-examination. Asking why something hurt you so much can lead to some deep inner healing that may be needed from past traumas.
Another step towards freedom is prayer. Believers need to have open and honest prayer, speaking to God how they would speak to anyone close, rather than through religious formalities.
Apostle Mike also encouraged taking communion. He explained that whenever he feels offended he takes communion as a way to process it before the Lord. "Anytime we see something on the internet that offends us, anytime we hear something that offends us we go over to this bowl and we take communion and we get it out before the Lord," he revealed.
He uses communion as symbolism. The broken body and shed blood helps him remember Christ's suffering and in that way, he is able to release control.
If you find yourself living in offense at the moment and have a desire for self-indication, take a moment right now to trust in God's sovereignty and release that offense to Him.
Pray this: "I don't have to vindicate myself, I don't have to control this outcome, I am advocating control to the one that is in control already. Lord, I release this offense. Please give me an unoffendable heart and help me to achieve greater emotional and spiritual maturity. Let that be my goal from here forward in Jesus' name, AMEN.”
About the Author
Jeannie Ortega Law is a chart-topping singer, evangelist, media personality and author from New York City. She can be reached on social media: @JeannieOrtega or emailed at Info@JeannieO.com
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